Monday, 19th April, 2010

I found today good, but at the same time a challenge.  It started with me waking at 4.20am and not getting back to sleep (same thing for the last 4 nights).  I therefore started the day tired …. something I find challenging.

Playfulness

It was my children’s last day of the school holidays.  I took them and a niece to an Ice Skating rink about a 40 minute drive away.  I sat in the stand and watched them skating and having fun.  It’s such a joy to watch children just being playful.  Perhaps, we adults should be mindful of introducing more spontaneous playfulness in our lives!  Any ideas?

Inspiring Granny

As I was sitting there sucking on a decaf cappuccino, I saw the most inspiring thing.  Out on the ice was a grey-haired grandmother, probably about 68ish.  She was just magnificent!  There she was skating with her daughter and 2 grandchildren …. and skating really well!.  She was amazing and then and there I decided that I am going to have that for myself.  I am a spectator because of my weight in so many different aspects of life.  Instead, I want to immerse myself in the joy of participating in activities with my children, and in the future, my grandchildren if I should be so lucky. All the more reason to embark on this journey to a healthy body.

Now for the challenging side of the day.

Death of my Best Friend

Today is the 19th Anniversary of the death of my best friend, A.  She was riding her bicycle when a stolen car, being pursued by police, went at high speed across a stop sign and crashed into her.  She was killed instantly – only 28 years old.

When I had my initial Consultation with Kitty Campion and had the Bioresonance Test, it showed that my body was holding Shock / Stress (10% – see My Results page).  While the stress is obvious – it’s current – the first thing I thought of with regard to shock was A’s death.  One minute I was cooking green chicken curry for my Mum and Dad who were coming to dinner.  The next thing the phone rings and I was given the news that changed my world. I even remember what was playing on my CD player at the time – Everything But The Girl.  I remember sitting in a corner in shock.  I just needed solid walls around me.

I’m not sure how one shifts a shock and loss like that.  I just know that it’s still there, for the tears are not far from the surface when I allow myself the time to think about it.  Might talk to Sally, my Homoeopath, and see if Ignatia, a grief remedy, might help.

Feel really teary at the moment, but I’m not reaching for consolation through food, specifically chocolate.  As much as A was a chocoholic too, I know she wants me to stay strong on this journey and not stumble because of her.  I just miss her …….

[9 June: Synchronicities (and Law of Attraction) being what they are, yesterday I listened (on my iPod) to some Abraham-Hicks recordings from the Master Course Audio whilst doing my grocery shopping .  One of the questions from an audience member was about death and loss of a family member and moving beyond the loss.  Essentially, Abraham said that while we are in a state of noticing their absence from our lives (of noticing ‘lack’), we cannot feel their presence around us.  Only when we start to shift our thoughts to happier memories can we actually feel their presence and even talk with them.  When they talk with us from the other side, know that they will only sound positive and loving, for that is the Stream of Well-being  and pure positive love and energy that they are now in, so if they had any grumpy or negative tendencies, you won’t hear them.  You will only hear that which was the best of them.  I sure resonated with the message].